Gorillas, wolves, and The Way I Think

Okay, I complain alot about the way things are. But the truth is, I feel pretty good. It’s a wonderful day.

I believe the way I feel about something is a decision I make all the time. It’s true, sometimes we get knocked for a loop by an event in our lives, but we can turn the screws in our heads and change our minds.

For instance, in 1991, while I was on a drug run in South Carolina, my motorcycle broke down. It was 2am and I wheeled the motorcycle onto the shoulder of the road.

A good Samiritan stopped and gave us a flashlight; I was with someone who was supposedly going to take me to a dope house. I never met him before that night.

He held the flashlight while I got down on my knees and was working on the clutch cable. All of a sudden, out of what seemed like nowhere, a speeding truck, doing about 65 mph, hit us and everything went black for a minute.

When I came to I was laying on grass and I couldn’t move my legs. I knew I was in rough shape and death could be imminent and my mind went into a state of panic.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I had the thought that, yes, this might be it; you could be dying and there’s nothing you can do about it. The only thing I could do was change the way I was thinking about it. I believe that this thought was God-inspired.

You can define what I mean by God; we all have our own thoughts about Him/Her.

I calmed. A woman was shining a flashlight at me and asking me if she could do anything for me; she said the ambulance was on the way and everything will be all right.

Well, I didn’t really know whether everything was going to be all right or not but I knew that my lungs were intact because I was breathing without any whistling sound so I asked her for a cigarette. She hesitated for a moment and then held one to my mouth so I could take a drag. Let me tell you, this was the best cigarette I ever smoked.

I don’t smoke anymore, but that’s another story.

Obviously, I lived. What I learned from this event was that I had more control over the way I thought about things than I ever imagined before. This was a defining event in my life and, because of it, in 1994, I began having long periods of abstinence from heroin, went back to school and became a drug counselor and, with the help of support groups, a therapist and a psychiatrist, am abstinent today. I even work in the field of addictions recovery.

By the way, the guy I was with died instantly. If I had been standing, I would have been killed instantly also. That’s what they told me, anyway.

Now, let’s talk about the world. Did I say in my last blog that there are only 800 gorillas left in the world? There’s over 6 billion people. What does that tell us?

In Germany, the wolves have come back. They were hunted to near extinction in the Middle Ages.

In the 1990’s, as the story goes, a lone male crossed the Neisse River from Poland. Others came accross and the first pups were born in Germany in the year 2000. They estimate the wolf population to be about 25 in Germany right now.

There’s this guy, a hunter named Joachim Bachmann, who’s flipping out about the wolves being back. He thinks they should be hunted to extinction again; he feels they serve no greater purpose than to kill sheep.

Actually, the existence of wolves creates a healthy environment because they cull out the weaker wild animals.

This hunter asks what positive things a wolf does for nature. “Nothing,” he says.

What about the human species? You could say the same about us.

Actually, diversity is the key to a healthier planet. All the species have their place and there is a symbiosis that takes place that makes Mother Earth well when diversity exists.

Can you believe that this guy is crying that one day there will be 120 wolves in Germany and then “we’ll really be in trouble.” I don’t know why he picks that number.

If we keep going, shortly they’ll be 7 billion people on Earth and then what. In the study of Ethology, a psychology of species behaviour, it has been shown that when a species reaches a certain density, it goes insane. Kills it’s own children, engages in rape to a greater degree, and the structure of their society breaks down.

Well folks, take a look at the way more and more people are behaving today and think about that for a bit.

The energy we pour into the war machine can feed every person on Earth right now. Are we asleep or just insane?

I’m going to leave you now, just for today. Think about the way you think about things. How’s your attitude today? Can you change it? Can you help another person today?

How do I change the world? Well, I have to begin with me. I can’t fight for a cleaner world while I pour poisons into my veins so I treat my illness of addiction and stay abstinent.

Peace, my friends.


1 Comment

Filed under Attitudes

One response to “Gorillas, wolves, and The Way I Think

  1. Craig Buehlmaier


    Edie (Miller) Angelo forwarded your blog to me; very well-written, and a good read, and congratulations on your enlightenment and metamorphosis.

    There is one exception I have to take, and that is your statement “The energy we pour into the war machine can feed every person on Earth right now. Are we asleep or just insane?”

    There is a war that has been declared on the western world, and more specifically Americans and our way of life (which I perceive to be a considerable force to support the opening statement you make “I feel pretty good. It’s a wonderful day.”) which has been declared as a specific target.

    Unlike the wolves that re-inhabit Germany, or that roam the US (or wherever), who kill to survive, the wolves that invade the religious, ideological and political forests of the west, engage in wanton and indiscriminate killing for very different purposes. As such, I do not see our war response as either insanity or somniac in nature, but rather as a genuine struggle for sheer survival. In other words, if we do not combat these attacks on our well-being and way-of-life, there will be no one left to even consider trying to satisfy the idealistic and noble objective of feeding “every person on Earth”.

    Best regards,
    Craig Buehlmaier
    LHS Class of ’64

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